hiding from the world

I’m such a technophobe I coundn’t cope without a laptop. So I bought a mini laptop at a ‘drugstore’ at the terminus station for 249 Euros. Seems to work. Plugged my iphone into it and lo and behold I was connected to the internet, through the iphone. That was OK but it used up all my prepaid data allowance in about an hour. So, went and spent more on a mobile internet thingo, which was quite a feat with charades like antics. Now it should be easier for me to post wonderful tales.

I’ve been accused of being Crocodile Dundee a few times, I wish I had the big knife. I don’t know whether to lose the Akubra or not.

I am now in Naples.My first impression is a filthy and dangerous city. When I arrived at the central station and walked out into the rubbish and filth I thought-

‘WTF am I doing here?’

It’s a city of spitters, rubbish and dog shit. Do they always spit or are they doing it for my benefit?

I walked to my lodgings which was a long way, feeling as conspicuous as Wedge’s balls, dragging my bag across the cobblestone streets. My trusty iphone map led me astray into the winding backstreets of Naples, I feared for my life and my iphone and ended up at the Hospitale Incurables. I should have checked in.

Eventually found my lodgings through a door within a door and breathed a sigh of relief to find some safety.
By coincidence I’m right near the Museum Archaeological Nationale. I deposited my bag and was starving enough to go out and face the spitters and homicidal maniacs on motor scooters again. There is a busy restaurant opposite the museum so I went in there. I got a table but it soon became obvious that they were very busy and it would be a long wait. Luigi was running from table to kitchen and the woman running the show was yelling at him, 'Luigi, Luigi!' between arguing with customers about the price on their bill. I got up to leave and was sternly told to sit if I wanted mangiare . I sat.

Grace, I was thinking of you and ordered risotto with prawns and rocket salad.

What I got was something else. It was a watery rice mess with pipi shells and bits of octopus and the occasional prawn whisker. It smelt like the bait bucket after a hot day in the sun when fishing with Dad, mixed with bilge water. It’s nice, isn’t it,when smells bring back childhood memories?

I tried but I couldn’t eat it. I waited for my rocket salad. It didn’t come. I asked the matron about it and she said I didn’t order it ( more charades). I pointed it out on the menu. I think she told me that the food I’d got was buono and I should shut up and eat it.

I did something I’ve never done before. I walked out. Did leave five euros on the table. So I went into the museum angry, tired, afraid and with bait bucket breath. It took me a while to settle down but when I did I found the most wonderful collection of ancient sculptures and paintings.

Spent the afternoon there and thought that it was all worth it.


I walked down to the port in the rain and spoke to some Australian girls at the ‘hostel of the sun’, which I’m considering relocating to. The place is pretty lousy but I figure there’s safety in numbers.  Found a little restaurant nearby and it was really good. I had a salad and a grilled sea bass with potatoes. The best meal I’ve had in Italy so far.The owner was so nice. This really is a place of extreme contrasts.

Today I walked up to the Museo di Capodimonte. Cap of the Mountain is what that means. Not as inspiring as yesterday’s museum, perhaps the adrenalin wasn’t pumping so hard. The building is huge grey and foreboding. Too tired to walk back down so I got ripped off by a meterless taxi. Was approached by two men who asked me something. I ignored them. They followed me back to the hostel. This place is creeping me out, so I’m taking refuge in my room until hunger drives me back out into the streets again.

Surely this is just paranoia. I'm out of my comfort zone. Things will get better, wont they?

From Drop Box